


Alone

by SansyFresh



Series: Angst and Stuff [8]
Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Hopeful Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Sad, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-21
Updated: 2020-03-21
Packaged: 2021-03-01 04:07:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,335
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23238940
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SansyFresh/pseuds/SansyFresh
Summary: Edge has no one.Or so he thinks.
Relationships: Papyrus/Papyrus (Undertale), Sans/Sans (Undertale)
Series: Angst and Stuff [8]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1263086
Comments: 13
Kudos: 73





	Alone

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys this is kinda a vent thing but have a thing about Edge struggling to fit in and generally being depressed
> 
> Enjoy?
> 
> (Warning for suicide attempt, suicidal thoughts, hard angst with a happy ending)
> 
> Also this is mustard and spicyhoney lol

When Edge first came to the surface, the sun held his full attention for a long while. Red had gone and immediately called their doubles, the group of skeleton Sanses and Papyruses that his brother had always gone on Tuesdays to see and come back with a small box of food he made Edge eat every bite of. Edge had never gone, even when Red asked him to. Something had always come up, either involving the Guard or his own personal mental health at the time.

Protecting the people of Snowdin would always, always come before any stupid night of revelry. Always.

They’d even had a fight about it, the last time Red had asked him to accompany him to the little “movie night” or whatever it was they did when they ate copious amounts of well cooked food and popcorn (or, at least, what Edge remembered smelling like popcorn.) Red had even tried to use magic on him to drag him, for his “own good” Red had said. Edge had damn fought him off, locked himself in his room, and had a panic attack in his closet. 

They never spoke about it again.

But now Red was amicably talking with what looked to be his “peaceful” double, the short little asshole giving Edge side glances filled with concern when he thought Edge wasn’t looking. There was also a version of himself, with round eyes and no eyelights, wearing a shirt emblazoned with the words “HOT SKELETON”, with a mark through BOI and Skeleton written in with bright pink sharpie. It was a garish shirt, but something in Edge found himself attracted to its boldness.

He ignored that feeling all the way up until Red got in a car with them and left.

Something in him wasn’t surprised. This wouldn’t be the first time he’d been taught the lesson, Sink or Swim. Surely Undyne would allow him a place to stay? Even if she was eyeing the Royal Scientist something fierce… he’d always known they deserved each other, but something in him knew there would be no room for him there. 

Soon enough the monsters from the recently opened underground were all traveling down the mountain in cars or buses, being transported to their new lives. 

Edge was alone. So, utterly alone, as the last bus called for any remaining passengers that weren’t going to go back in the mountain.

He hopped inside the last moment, shrugging off the immense feeling of unease at being in a cramped space with monsters he barely knew.

He was… alone.

~.~

It took another few weeks for Edge to get his own little, rinkydink apartment, his measly stipend covering only the basics as he struggled to find a job. Undyne had eventually stopped answering his calls after the fifth time he’d asked her if there were any openings at the Embassy. Red never answered his texts in the first place, but the one time he’d gotten up the courage to call, he’d hung up as soon as he’d heard his brother’s voice. It was still rough, from all the years of growling and posturing and smoking, but now… now it held none of the malice it usually did. He sounded… happy. 

Edge hadn’t been able to even try to call him again after that.

~.~

He’d finally found himself a job once the first stipend of money had run out, the bills demanding it be so. He worked at a tiny, dirty gas station, the only place that would hire an ex-guardsman. He cleaned the place up, made it respectable, and continued doing so for the next six months.

Still no word from his brother. Still no word from these mysterious doubles Red was always so fond of. “Oh bro, you have to meet them, they’re so nice.” 

Apparently they only had enough care in their souls for one monster from a Fellgrounds. Edge was alone, still and when he thought about it, something in him itched.

It continued itching for a long time, until finally he followed the itch, and left the city at the base of the mountain. He traveled up, no food or rest, until he reached the hole they’d come out of. It was dark and dismal as he made his way back down, traveling deep until he reached Snowdin. Or what remained of it. 

Their house still stood, the old bones of it creaking as he made his way inside, through the door and up the stairs until he reached the one place he’d ever felt truly safe.

He cried, sitting in his closet, cried for the things he’d lost. The power, the assurance of safety. His brother.

He didn’t leave that closet for three days.

~.~

The top of the mountain was a breathtaking place, the wind blowing through his bones as he stood at the very precipice of the edge. It was such a long drop, so far down that if he was to fall, he’d never survive. 

Something about that took his breath, made him feel alive in ways he hadn’t felt in so fucking long. 

So he stood there, watching as the sun went down and the stars rose, and took a single step forward.

Ping!

“What the fuck-!” Edge exclaimed, staring down at his ultimate demise, only to find his soul sitting just outside his chest, glowing a bright blue.

“I can’t fucking let you kill yourself, asshole.”

Edge glanced back, angry and scared, only to find some version of himself holding him up with one hand, a cigarette in his mouth, smoke rising high in the air above them. He gently lowered Edge back to the ground, Edge slowly crumpling to his knees as he stared hard at the monster that had just ruined his last chance. Something in him wanted to finish it, kill this double and take that leap to freedom from all of these emotions.

The raised brow stopped him.

“You think I’m stupid enough to just stand here and take it? I’m not letting you kill yourself, end of story. Now come on, supper’s getting cold.” And with that and a snap of the fingers, Edge was being raised in the air again, his limbs flailing uselessly as he was helpless but to follow the skeleton through the air as they traveled back down the mountain. The skeleton seemed to have a lot of magic, since Edge was fighting his hold with everything he had left, and it was still holding.

“What the fuck is your problem, dude? Do you really want to end it that badly?” The skeleton called back, one finger stuck lazily in the air as Edge tried to summon bones to attack him with. Something snapped in his soul, leaving him bent in half in agony as the skeleton stopped, sighing.

“Look, my name’s Stretch. I’m not going to let you hurt yourself, or me, or whoever we come across, alright?” 

Edge glared hard at him, trying again to summon bones, a blaster, anything, only to have his own magic reverb back into his soul with a sickening snap of pain.

“Can you stop that please? I’m trying to make this as easy as possible on you, alright?”

“Just fucking let me go! Fight me or kill me, don’t fucking, don’t-” Edge tried, fighting so hard against the blue magic that held him, only to fall limp in Stretch’s hold. He grimaced as tears began to bead in his eyes without his consent, his body curling into itself as he floated in the air next to Stretch. 

There was silence for a long moment, before a hand was gently grabbing his arm. “C’mon man, lets get you home.”

Edge snarled, uncurling to attack the stupid ass, only to fall to his back on what felt like a mattress. He scrambled to get up, to fight back now that he was released, only to find himself alone in a nondescript room, no window and the door locked when he tried it.

“I’m gonna go get you some food. Try not to hurt yourself while you’re in there.” Stretch’s voice came through the door, Edge growling at him until he could no longer hear the footsteps. He wanted to attack the door, break it to splinters and find the first sharp object he could to finish the deed, but he could feel his fight draining. 

He backed up, falling to the mattress and curling into his knees as he began to cry. 

He fell asleep some time after that.

~.~

“Bro, you’re an asshole, y’know that?”

Edge blinked, eyelights foggy as he glanced up, finding himself in a bright room with a window this time, the curtains only barely holding the light outside back. There were wires hooked to his arm, and when he tried to move he found more attached to his soul. He felt weak, powerless in a way he hadn’t in a while. Not since before…

Glancing up, he found Red sitting in the chair beside his bed, the expression on his face making him cringe back. Red was angry, no, livid, and Edge really had no idea why.

“What’s going on?” he tried feebly, only for Red to sit up in his chair purposefully, Edge sinking back. 

“What happened was that you tried to fucking kill yourself instead of trusting me.”

Edge wanted to say it was a lot more than that, that he’d tried so much harder than that, but Red didn’t look to be in that good of a listening mood. 

“Now, I want you to start at the beginning, and tell me why you thought throwing yourself off a mountain was a fucking good idea.”

Edge swallowed, which led to a coughing fit, Red watching impassively as Edge did his best not to shrink under his glare. In the end, he said nothing, and Red left, angrier than when he’d come.

The nurses didn’t mind that he didn’t speak, kept everything sharp out of his reach and the one time he’d torn his IV out they’d finally strapped his arms down.

It was unpleasant at best, but the worst thing was that their whole job was to keep him alive. 

He cried, when he was alone.

~.~

“Hey man, you look a little better?” Stretch’s voice pulled Edge out of a staring contest with the window, the view of the gardens outside something he did to keep himself from going mad. When he didn’t say anything, Stretch pulled the chair out and sat, only barely glancing at the straps still holding him down.

“You didn’t attack a nurse or something, did you?” Stretch asked dubiously, and Edge shook his head.

“Good. Hate to have to Judge you, y’know?” And with that Stretch was pulling out his phone and showing Edge some random bullshit on some website called YouTube, something or other about something or other, Edge was just confused by the end of it. Stretch seemed unperturbed, leaving with a promise to bring snacks.

Edge wasn’t really sure if he was dreading it or not.

~.~

His first panic attack at the “hospital” had come when Red had finally returned. It wasn’t because of Red, but because the doctor had come in and told Edge that he would be released soon, on order of his brother. It was an overwhelming thought, that Red had control over his life like that, and that he likely wouldn’t get another chance to do anything in regards to… well. Leaving this pointless world. 

But Red had come in during the pinnacle of it, Edge hyperventilating and crying ugly sobs and Red… had pulled him into his arms, singing a low lullaby that they’d known and forgotten as children. Edge had listened to it, the sobs receding until he was laying limp in his brother’s hold.

“Bro, you gotta get some help. See somebody. I’m sorry I didn’t… I’m sorry I didn’t see it before.”

Edge wasn’t sure what “it” was that his brother hadn’t saw. But he fell asleep in his arms, and that was almost enough to keep him from lapsing back into the attack that hovered on the edge of his mind.

~,~

They’d released him the next day, Red healing up the scratch marks he’d left picking at his metacarpals in anxious waiting, holding his hand like a babybones as he led him out of the hospital and into the light. The Sans and Papyrus from the mountain were waiting with a car, and Edge felt his face warm in humiliation as Red led him to them without a word and bullied him into the car.

The following weeks were a kind of hell, Red and Stretch and Blue and Papyrus and Sans double teaming him to keep him busy and not dwelling on his own thoughts, whether by taking him new places, helping him learn how to cook, or watching stupid shit on YouTube, or just… letting him sit with them.

The knives were locked away, as were the medications. Nothing sharp was in the house at all that he could see without looking, and when he did look nothing greeted him but a slightly disappointed Stretch. 

Eventually Red bullied him into seeing a human “therapist”. It… helped. To talk about his feelings, about things that happened underground. About his feelings of abandonment. His therapist, a tiny woman named Tina, had a few words for his brother when she spoke to him during their family counseling. 

And eventually… things didn’t seem so pointless. His panic attacks were managed by a medication that Tina had him trying, his depression the same. Red never left him alone for longer than a day, though they rarely saw each other on weekends since Sans always took him out on a date those times.

Stretch had drawn closer, ever so closer, and Edge wondered if there were any possibilities in that path. It was something he wondered often, catching himself wondering where life was leading him.

It didn’t really matter, as long as he had this.

**Author's Note:**

> If anyone needs more tags added, let me know!!!
> 
> Also this was inspired by Keely's fic, https://archiveofourown.org/works/23237128
> 
> So go read that!


End file.
